W.O.W. SUNNY SUNDAY 09/20/15

“Sunny” – What would a Health Blog be without some uplifting, inspirational anecdotes and mantras?

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“The other shows us ourselves in a forgotten light, as someone less dull than we thought we had become. We look at each other and we love ourselves”

 -Anonymous

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Do you know someone like this ?

Someone who reflects back to you the person you wish to see?

Someone who reminds you of what it means to be alive?

Not just ‘living’, but truly alive?

Do you have someone in your life for whom YOU are this person?

Someone to whom you give life?

Someone to whom you validate worth and purpose?

Take stock of the people with whom you spend your time…

Do they fit in this category for you – or you for them?

Do you wish they did?

Or, perhaps, you prefer it the way it is – connected enough…but not too close?

These are not questions anyone else can answer.

Nor, are they questions, which you can afford to not answer.

I challenge  you to take time this Sunday. And sit with these questions…

Love them.

Hate them.

Rejoice in them.

Cry for them.

But be present with them.

You get but one turn on the Carousel of Life, you owe it to yourself and whoever or whatever you believe in, to love yourself and to surround yourself with those you love.

looking glass

W.O.W. THERAPEUTIC THURSDAY 09/17/15

“Therapeutic” – Gain insight into your Actions [sometimes called ‘behaviors’] and how they may be functioning as a direct result of Thoughts and Feelings

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Let’s start our session this month with a piece of literature I came across.  It is an adaptation from a publication in the New Yorker by Brenda Shaughnessy.

Backward Circles

I have a time machine

It travels into the future at a rate of one second per second

 

This seems slow to the physicists and to the grant committee, and even to me.

 

Nonetheless

I manage to get there time after time, to the next minute and to the next.

Whether I want to or not.
Because you see – I can’t turn it off.
Or slow it down.
 

And if I try to get out of my Time Machine, open the latch and just jump,

well I’m quite certain I will fall into space, unconscious, then desiccated.

 

And I’m pretty sure I’m afraid of that.

Sure enough to stay inside.

 

I have a window, though
It shows the Past.
 

It’s like a television and a fish tank all rolled into one.

But it’s never Live streaming and the fish swim in backward circles.

 

Sometimes, it isn’t a fish tank at all,
But a rear view mirror
Offering another chance to see what I’m leaving behind.
Why is it that we can’t make up our minds about whether or not we want [need?] Time to go faster or slower than it actually does ?
Why is it that we have so much trouble just being okay with where we are at?
Did you know that desiring to be in a different moment than the one in which you find yourself is the source of anxiety?
Think about it …the whole notion of anxiety is grounded in this sense that you are unsettled – what is more unsettling than finding discomfort in the moment in which you are?
And then not being able to hurry up and get to a different moment or slow down a nice moment to make it last longer?
Ah! Stress!
It’s really that basic.
Think, too, about how sometimes it feels like you CAN manipulate time…you know how there are some people in your life who, when you spend time with them, time seems to either drag or fly by ?
Or, what about when you are going on a vacation – the difference between how long it FEELS it takes to get there versus how long it takes to return? You traversed the same miles, did you not? So how can it feel longer or shorter?
The truth of the matter is that it is related to anxiety.
Think about , the angst of wanting to arrive at your destination makes it feel like it will never get there …you are desiring to be in a moment different than the one in which you are.
Similarly, most of us wish our vacations could last longer, and we are in no hurry to return to reality [i.e. work, etc] and it seems like the plane must certainly have flown at vortex speed…
Again, we are desiring to halt time to avoid the next moment. But we can’t.
So maybe we even feel a tinge of depression alongside our angst?
Now, sure, we Americans have loads of pharmaceuticals we could shove in our mouth to make us not care about anything I just wrote about, or perhaps we could try to stay present.
We could meet ourselves where we are at daily, by the minute, by the second.
Don’t wish for a Time Machine.
Don’t try to make one.
Time is the one thing that no matter how wealthy you are, you can’t get more of.
Do what you can to find peace in your moment and smile when you look in the rear view mirror.
After all, it wasn’t meant to steer you forward, it was meant to help you see a bigger picture  and arrive safely at your next moment.
And so it is with your Past.

 

W.O.W. MAKE IT HAPPEN MONDAY 09/07/15

“Make it Happen” – Start off the business week with positive reinforcements, tips and tricks for helping yourself be successful in work, wellness, and wealth.

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Today is Labor day. This means a few things:

  1. Many of us didn’t have to work today
  2. Many of us have no idea how it can be possible that it is almost time to go back to work
  3. Many of us desperately want every weekend to be a three-day weekend
  4. This work week, while only 4 days, will somehow manage to go painfully slow.
  5.  We check our calendars for the next Federal holiday…Thanksgiving ?!?! Fuck.
  6. We check google images for some Meme that captures our despair…

We post most suitable Meme on multiple social media sites to commiserate in our misery…

True story.

Let’s just call a spade, a spade. How is this so predictable ?

Well, quite frankly, it’s because we as humans, are highly predictable.

We tend to gravitate towards those things that feel good and gravitate away from things that DON’T feel good.

No work, feels good.

Work, not so good.

And, let’s be honest,  talking about things you want to see change is WAY easier and comfortable than ACTUALLY putting forth effort to change those things.

And that makes sense, right?

I mean there is certainly an evolutionary advantage to that the Path of Least Resistance: in theory, it increases our chances of survival – think about it – Going towards the fire on a cold night feels much better than going towards that lion who looks a tad hungry…

Now, realizing that we have central heating (and Zoos) to minimize the relevancy of the above example, the original point holds true.

While we have made incredible strides in the advent of technology to make our lives more comfortable and convenient, we haven’t REALLY changed biologically since the times of building fires and protecting ourselves from lions.

We still have many [I would propose ALL] of our original evolutionary tendencies.

Why does any of this matter?

Well, I suppose it does not matter at all if you are 100% happy with your life and don’t have any further goals are areas you wish to improve .

Which, P.S., if that describes you, I would like to request that you make a small donation to my account at South Carolina Student Loan Company and help a sister out…

For the rest of us, this humorous exposure of our baser Self is incredibly meaningful because it holds the key to understanding why we may not have the life we want.

Let’s take a look at two areas of life most of us are seeking to improve:

  1. Physical Health

You work all day, you are tired, the last thing that feels happy and comfortable is kicking your own ass on a treadmill and then going home and chopping vegetables and cooking and then having to clean up all the dishes… NO, it sounds much more appealing to stop at a building on your way home work… a magical building that will serve food to you right at the side of your car and then you can just keep driving home and sit down on the couch and eat and relax.

2. Financial Health

You work all day, you are tired, you have been on someone else’s clock all day. With this in mind, you feel you  have EARNED something for yourself, so you go pick up some new pair of shoes, or the latest gismo or gadget  – something that is YOURS. something you purchased with that hard earned money from the Man – something to make you feel like you are in control and that job is worthwhile because “look what it bought me”.  Who wants to budget? You work hard for your money, too hard probably, if you can’t even spend your money on what you want, WHEN you want…what kind of a terrible, suffocating life is that??

Sound even just a tiny bit familiar?

Here’s the problem – for those of us who subscribe to the two mentalities just listed, the result is someone who is Unhealthy and In Debt; someone who is physically exhausted and financially depleted. Which, obviously none of us would choose.

But do you see how easy it is to chose?

It’s so easy

And comfortable

And natural

And HUMAN

to choose the path of least resistance.

And because we don’t become overweight or bankrupt overnight, it can be all the more easy to choose what feels good in the moment. But all those moments add up…and before you know it, you are far away from the life you say you want.

And you are back on your Home screen.

Commiserating on social media platforms over the desire to have more work / life balance…maybe selecting a melancholy meme to share with your 1,408 friends….changing your profile picture to a better Selfie (now that you have that new filter) but not changing anything that matters.

Don’t be that guy.

Don’t be afraid to be a little too hot, or cold, or stare that lion in the face. There is nothing easy or comfortable about a life of  RX pharmaceuticals, endless calls from credit companies, and dying before your time.

Whatever you want to change, Make it Happen .

Stay Well,

MissFit

 

W.O.W – SUNNY SUNDAY 08/16/15

“Sunny” – What would a Health Blog be without some uplifting, inspirational anecdotes and mantras?

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“The moment I met you I saw that you were quite unconscious of what you really are, of what you might become. There was so much in you that charmed me that I felt I must tell you something about yourself. I thought how tragic it would be if you were wasted”

~Oscar Wilde

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At first read this may sound like a depressing quote, but I urge you to read it again. This time hold in your mind’s eye someone that you love  – someone that you loved and lost.

Sometimes Life can feel like a wild ride of staged monotony, obligatory meet-ups, chance encounters and general anticlimactic chaos.

This Sunny Sunday, as we do each month, I am going to challenge you to go outside of this default reaction.

Read the quote a third time. Read it with the intention of promising to try to make your encounters – be they chance, monotonous, obligatory, or chaotic – as purposeful as possible. Look for the good in others. Tell people what they mean to you. Recognize a positive attribute, talent, or skill.

At the very least, smile. Smile at other people you happen to see, for it would be a waste of the goodness in you if you did not.

Stay Well,

MissFit

W.O.W. – MAKE IT HAPPEN MONDAY 08/10/15

“Make it Happen” – Start off the business week with positive reinforcements, tips and tricks for bringing yourself success in your work, your wellness, and your wealth.

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Another Monday!

Hard to believe that it has already been 3 months since we likened poor poor Monday to our Ex-significant other.

Did you know that Monday is slated as the most common day people promise to start eating better?

It’s always “the diet starts on Monday!” And usually, with good intention, the process unfolds…the trip to the grocery store… the buying of fruits and vegetables…the subsequent washing, cutting, and Tupperware-ing of said fruits and vegetables…out comes the juicer…out comes the food scale…the snack-size Ziploc baggies…the lunchbox is dusted off, packed, and you head to bed Sunday night with all the hope, belief, and positive intent in the world that THIS IS YOUR WEEK.

THIS MONDAY is the Monday where it all changes. All those other Mondays were just practice for this Monday.

Sounding familiar?

We are all guilty of it. Or, at the very least, know at least 5 people guilty of it.

Whether today was that Monday for you, or whether you keep hoping that next Monday will be your big break, I encourage you to allow yourself 8 minutes to be inspired by a seemingly unlikely hero: Ernestine Shepherd.

Forget about a new “diet”.  Forget about this constant obsession with “giving up” something in order to be healthy. This Monday, I challenge you to consider all of the ways in which fitness will ENRICH your life, not deprive you.

Focus on a healthy, positive change you can institute that works you towards a lifelong sense of well-being – not a crash course in starvation or deprivation.

MissFits, there is truly no time like the present. Don’t wait for another Monday to make a change. Make it Happen.

Stay well,

MissFit

Questions? Thoughts?

write below or email direct to write.with.ms@gmail.com

W.O.W. – SUNNY SUNDAY 06/14/15

“Sunny” – What would a Health Blog be without some uplifting, inspirational anecdotes and mantras?

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“Palaces of countless rulers, now but dust / Empires rise: people suffer / Empires fall: people suffer”

~C.K. Knoch, circa 1250

On that depressing note – happy Sunday!

Thanks for stopping by, until next month, bye-bye.

JUST KIDDING.

I wouldn’t leave you like that.

This is supposed to be an uplifting and inspirational day – what’s with the nihilism?

Have you ever heard a saying about how the tough days make you appreciate the good ones more? Or maybe something more akin to how the 5-day work week makes you appreciate the 2-day weekend more?

Well, at the heart of those messages is this notion that we are somewhere, somehow, WIRED to understand that nothing lasts forever and that it behooves us to appreciate what we have and always remember there is a second side to every coin…sometimes you are the bug, sometimes you are the windshield, etc, etc.

Still, you are probably wondering, HOW in the sam-hell is this uplifting me right now?

Breathe, relax.

The moment you are able to truly believe AND ACCEPT these two facts:

  1. All emotions are short-lived, be it happiness or devastation
  2. At times your happiness means someone else will be sad, and vice-versa so it’s all relative

Two other things occur:

  1. You find that deeper gratitude and joy for the little things comes easier to you
  2. You find it easier to let go and forgive people whom you believe have wronged you

So, this Sunday and always, remain aware of your place in this Universe. Go out, be brave, build your palace, but do it humbly.

Try not to crush others on your pursuit of happiness. And, instead of looking out across your kingdom, look next to you.

Until Next Time,

Take Care,

MissFit

 

 

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picture c/o magdalenaniziol.com

W.O.W. – SUNNY SUNDAY 05/17/15

“Sunny” – What would a Health Blog be without some uplifting, inspirational anecdotes and mantras?

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“There is no ‘other’ world / I only know what I’ve experienced / You must be hallucinating”

~Persian Poet circa 1200 AD

Strange selection for a “sunny” quote of inspiration you may be thinking…

Well, yes, it is different,  but like most one-liners that have withstood the test of time, this one is chock full of truth from first letter to last.

When was the last time you had a disagreement with someone?

If you could boil down that disagreement to its most base self – the issue would be that the two of you have different opinions on the scenario at hand. How does this happen? Especially with friends or family members we have lived large parts of our lives with?

Seems crazy, right? As a matter of fact, this creates a second layer of frustration to the disagreement because you are often additionally upset that the other person CAN’T see what you see – “How could you possibly have thought this was okay??”

Sound familiar?

At the end of the day, we are all more biologically similar than different BUT when it comes to life experiences and our interpretation of those experiences, we could not be further apart.

Keep this in mind: Even two people surviving the same trauma, attending the same film, or looking at the same piece of art will walk away with entirely different accounts of what they saw, felt, and ultimately believed.

The next time you feel yourself getting upset with someone – remember – they are seeing the world through their lens and you are seeing the world through your lens. One lens is not better than the other. You are simply biased to yours because it is yours. Be mindful that the other person is biased to their own as well.

Before committing to being angry, make an effort to ask questions about how and why they see, taste, touch, hear, and feel what they do. Chances are they think you are hallucinating too.

Stay Well,

MissFit

 

Questions/Thoughts?

Comment below or email direct to write.with.ms@gmail.com

W.O.W. – SUNNY SUNDAY 04/12/15

“Sunny” – What would a Health Blog be without some uplifting, inspirational anecdotes and mantras?

To sail is necessary, to live is not”.

 

This quote is from an anonymous ancient Roman scribe.

In case anyone is fluent in Latin –  or perhaps attended Catholic school [cringe] such as myself and knows the infamous dead language – the original quote read as:

“Navigare est necesse, vivere non est necesse”

Whatever language you prefer, the message is the same.

Its point is that, while we do not have control over whether or not we came to be on this Earth, we do have control over what we do with our time and energy once we are here.

More importantly, it’s a brief reminder that what we choose does matter and, quite frankly, if we look throughout time, even when travel was not safe or even understood, we as humans appeared to have an innate drive to explore…to be taken from the ordinary world in which we know and see something else… to be a part of something else…

I’m challenging you Misfits:

Are you doing that? Are you following your human yearning to escape the mundane every now and again?

There will never be a perfect time to get away from your daily activities…the bill paying, the packing of school lunches, the laundry…there will always be something or someone beckoning your attention.

What an incredible age in which we live that we have programs such as Google Earth, high-tech GPS devices we can strap to our wrists, and lightning fast satellite coverage to link us to the these applications at all time…

But think about it… think about the lengths to which the Explorers went…or the original Homesteaders… YEARS it would take them to get from East Coast to West Coast…YEARS it would take and crazy dangerous voyages to reach parts unknown…parts that were thought to have sea monsters and possibly lead to that conspicuous place where you would sail right off the edge of the Earth…

But somehow, we went.

We understood there is more to life than comfort and routine.

Otherwise, it is not LIVING.

You don’t have to go far. Maybe you learn to practice more Mindfulness and Meditation and get away that way. Maybe you switch the furniture in your house or take a different route to the grocery store. The point is to see something new; to put yourself in a position to be changed, to be new.

Remember, living is a VERB.

So get out there, Misfits.

And, Sail.

 

Have a Sunny Sunday!

Stay Well,

MissFit

 

Questions/Thoughts?

Comment below or email direct to write.with.ms@gmail.com

W.O.W. – SUNNY SUNDAY 03/15/15

“Sunny” – What would a Health Blog be without some uplifting, inspirational anecdotes and mantras?

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The killer whale’s heart weighs one hundred kilos but in other respects it is light”.

 

This quote is from an ancient Eastern poet.

Its point has remained extremely poignant over the years and we find similar sentiments in our culture hundreds of years later.

Have you ever talked to a friend who has a dog? Ever heard anyone say something akin to:

“god, that’s the life, right? Eating, barking, wandering around and occasionally dozing off all day…Not a care in the world…MUST BE NICE”

Oddly, we are told on one hand that as Homo Sapien Sapiens, we are the apex of creation because we have the ability to think critically and reason…however, this often burdens us with elements that our pets [and, similarly, the killer whale] seem not to have…elements such as guilt, shame, imperfection, and inadequacy.

As humans, there is a time and place for these elements, but they should be on your terms. And they should have the purpose of helping you to be a better person.

Not a worry wart wracked with anxiety and depression.

Make amends if they need to be made.

Then

LET GO.

Have a Sunny Sunday!

Stay Well,

Questions/Thoughts?

Comment below or email direct to write.with.ms@gmail.com

W.O.W. – THERAPEUTIC THURSDAY 03/12/15

“Therapeutic” – Gain insight into your Actions [sometimes called ‘behaviors’] and how they may be functioning as a direct result of Thoughts and Feelings

There’s a quote that says, “No one has to lose in order for you to win”.

Hmmmmm – are we sure about that?

Isn’t that sort of the whole purpose of the terminology? How can there be a winner without a loser, and vice-a-versa?

Interestingly, people often refer to our existence on Earth as a game – the Game of Life to be exact.

Why do you suppose that is?

I challenge you to consider that it’s because we have secretly [or not so secretly] decided as a culture that there ARE in fact Winners and Losers in the Game of Life.

And, let’s be honest, NO ONE wants to lose.

So what recourse do we have other than to smuggle as many resources as we can and trample over others on our way to the top? After all, there’s not room for all of us up there, right?

Just remember, being at the top and not having anyone to share it with makes you the Loser.

This Therapeutic Thursday, I challenge you to reflect on how you interact with colleagues, siblings, and anyone else with who, you may feel an inherent rivalry or competition. Decide which elements of that competitive nature help you to be a kinder, stronger, more productive member of your group. If you can’t find any…reconsider your position.

 

Stay Well,

MissFit

 

Questions/Thoughts?

Comment below or email direct to write.with.ms@gmail.com