W.O.W. FUN FACT FRIDAY 09/18/15

“Fun Fact” – Self-explanatory…

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For all of my September babies out there  – September is the Month of the Sapphire. That beautiful, deep, rich blue is unparalleled.

You’ve probably never heard a health professional tell you to ‘Get Blue’ for weight loss – but I’m going to.

I’m not telling you to get sad and depressed – but I am telling you to consider getting the color Blue around you, especially in the kitchen, plates, bowls, counter tops, etc.

Why, you ask?          

Simple:
Research shows that  BLUE is the most calming color, it has been used in Color Therapy [yes that’s a real thing] to treat insomnia and over-activity in both adults and children.

Blue is also the least appetizing color as it does not occur naturally in foods aside from blueberries and some plums and eggplants.
Furthermore, evolutionarily, humans avoid foods that are thought to be poisonous and BLUE tends to be a color associated with poison and/or spoiled and rotting food. …

Therefore, eating off of BLUE dishes can reduce food intake by 15% or more simply by inducing notions of calmness, mindfulness, and survival.

And – BONUS TRACK – another blue color [and beautiful gemstone], turquoise is also used in Color Therapy to stimulate white blood cell count and boost immunity, keeping you healthier, longer.

You are more then welcome to send MissFit either one of these stones out of the benevolence of your heart .

But at the very least, treat yourself .

 

Until next time,

Stay Well,

MissFit

 

picture c/o portfoliographicdesign.com

W.O.W. THERAPEUTIC THURSDAY 09/17/15

“Therapeutic” – Gain insight into your Actions [sometimes called ‘behaviors’] and how they may be functioning as a direct result of Thoughts and Feelings

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Let’s start our session this month with a piece of literature I came across.  It is an adaptation from a publication in the New Yorker by Brenda Shaughnessy.

Backward Circles

I have a time machine

It travels into the future at a rate of one second per second

 

This seems slow to the physicists and to the grant committee, and even to me.

 

Nonetheless

I manage to get there time after time, to the next minute and to the next.

Whether I want to or not.
Because you see – I can’t turn it off.
Or slow it down.
 

And if I try to get out of my Time Machine, open the latch and just jump,

well I’m quite certain I will fall into space, unconscious, then desiccated.

 

And I’m pretty sure I’m afraid of that.

Sure enough to stay inside.

 

I have a window, though
It shows the Past.
 

It’s like a television and a fish tank all rolled into one.

But it’s never Live streaming and the fish swim in backward circles.

 

Sometimes, it isn’t a fish tank at all,
But a rear view mirror
Offering another chance to see what I’m leaving behind.
Why is it that we can’t make up our minds about whether or not we want [need?] Time to go faster or slower than it actually does ?
Why is it that we have so much trouble just being okay with where we are at?
Did you know that desiring to be in a different moment than the one in which you find yourself is the source of anxiety?
Think about it …the whole notion of anxiety is grounded in this sense that you are unsettled – what is more unsettling than finding discomfort in the moment in which you are?
And then not being able to hurry up and get to a different moment or slow down a nice moment to make it last longer?
Ah! Stress!
It’s really that basic.
Think, too, about how sometimes it feels like you CAN manipulate time…you know how there are some people in your life who, when you spend time with them, time seems to either drag or fly by ?
Or, what about when you are going on a vacation – the difference between how long it FEELS it takes to get there versus how long it takes to return? You traversed the same miles, did you not? So how can it feel longer or shorter?
The truth of the matter is that it is related to anxiety.
Think about , the angst of wanting to arrive at your destination makes it feel like it will never get there …you are desiring to be in a moment different than the one in which you are.
Similarly, most of us wish our vacations could last longer, and we are in no hurry to return to reality [i.e. work, etc] and it seems like the plane must certainly have flown at vortex speed…
Again, we are desiring to halt time to avoid the next moment. But we can’t.
So maybe we even feel a tinge of depression alongside our angst?
Now, sure, we Americans have loads of pharmaceuticals we could shove in our mouth to make us not care about anything I just wrote about, or perhaps we could try to stay present.
We could meet ourselves where we are at daily, by the minute, by the second.
Don’t wish for a Time Machine.
Don’t try to make one.
Time is the one thing that no matter how wealthy you are, you can’t get more of.
Do what you can to find peace in your moment and smile when you look in the rear view mirror.
After all, it wasn’t meant to steer you forward, it was meant to help you see a bigger picture  and arrive safely at your next moment.
And so it is with your Past.

 

W.O.W. – THERAPEUTIC THURSDAY 08/13/15

“Therapeutic” – Gain insight into your Actions [sometimes called ‘behaviors’] and how they may be functioning as a direct result of Thoughts and Feelings

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Have you ever had a difficult decision to make and made a Pro-Con list to try and help you?

Theoretically, this makes sense. As human beings we are drawn towards people and situations that  help us survive and thrive – the proverbial “Pros”.

This Therapeutic Thursday, I would like you to consider looking outside the standard Pro-Con box the next time you have a decision, big or small, to make.

The reason here is not because the Pro-Con list is inherently wrong or bad, but rather, because it is incomplete.

A Pro-Con list by its very nature is biased and short-sighted:

Biased: we filter future expectations of positive and negative things on our past and present experience of them; regardless of the truth of these things

Short-sighted: it is not feasible for us to know certainly every good and bad thing that will come of a decision we make because our decisions – even the smallest ones – are connected by little gossamer threads to dozens of other people and scenarios. Some of which we may be aware of; some of which we may not. This is both the beauty and the bane of our life as social creatures.

All of this being said, we know that there is evidence supporting the fact that the best indicator of future behavior has always been and will always be, past behavior [just look at the History books] but when it comes to individual human decision making, when we subscribe fully to this, we run the risk of short-changing ourselves.

For most of us, we don’t know how incredible we can be, or what sort of challenges we can rise to until we are challenged with them. And, most of us, would NEVER have chosen to go through some of the pain and heartache we have but we also know that those times were the periods of the most growth and humility in our lives; and we now look back and say “I wouldn’t change that for anything”…not because it was easy, but because it so profoundly changed us.

The next time you have a decision to make, instead of drawing that line down the center of the page and creating a dichotomy of good and evil for yourself, consider writing down 3-5 things that are most important for you to have, see, be, do, etc and then – based on what you know – which decision seems most likely to get you closer to the things that are important to you. It doesn’t mean it will be without strife or unanticipated hardship, but it DOES mean that you will have established the buy-in for yourself which will keep you focused and dedicated to the decision.

At the end of the day, we can only ever make the best decision we can with the information we have available to us in the moment we are in.

Give yourself the freedom to break away from black and white thinking and focus on what serves your true Self. Let go of fearing the infamous “what ifs” and instead, focus on just how amazing something could  be.

Two quotes I would like to leave you with this Therapeutic Thursday.

To emphasize the point that life is only so predictable,  I will confess: One is from Nelson Mandela and one is from Winnie the Pooh. I’ll let you figure out which is which…

It always seems Impossible until it’s done”

“…always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think”

 

Thoughts on this post? I would love to hear from you. Feel free to write me below in Comments or email direct at write.with.ms@email.com

Until next time, Stay well,

MissFit

W.O.W. – THERAPEUTIC THURSDAY 07/09/15

“Therapeutic” – Gain insight into your Actions [sometimes called ‘behaviors’] and how they may be functioning as a direct result of Thoughts and Feelings

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Oh Freud. We’ve loved you, we’ve laughed at you, we’ve heralded you once more, all short-lived and swaying in time with popular believes.

It’s not you, Freud, honest…It probably has something to do with our own internal turmoil . Our personal love/hate relationship with ourselves…

How Freudian of us.

Speaking of children and parents and parents trying to raise children while still mourning their own childhood, perhaps it is high time we sit back and ask ourselves – “What is the goal, here?”

As parents we are always trying to instill in our children the realization of our own vision of success and happiness.

As children, we are trying desperately to please our parents and also our friends. All the while trying to figure out who we are amongst a back splash of Media mongers.

*Phew*

It’s no wonder we have higher rates of anxiety and depression than ever before.

Perhaps, instead of lamenting everything we have done or not done or tried to do as parents, as children, or in that hybrid balancing act of being both child to our parents and adult to our children, we should just call a spade a spade. And that is exactly what Jennifer Senior does in her now famous TED talk exposing the high bar of Happiness:

On this Therapeutic Thursday, give yourself the gift of the next 19 minutes and listen.

Stay Well,

MissFit

 

Questions/Thoughts?

Comment below or email direct to write.with.ms@gmail.com

W.O.W. – THERAPEUTIC THURSDAY 06/11/15

“Therapeutic” – Gain insight into your Actions [sometimes called ‘behaviors’] and how they may be functioning as a direct result of Thoughts and Feelings

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First things first:

No introduction; no context. Just watch this video:

Pretty funny, right?

Well, maybe a touch stupid – depending on whether or not you find animals on the internet to be cute or obnoxious… but, honestly, it’s more entertaining than another damn cat snuggling with a parrot or another #caitlynjenner…

Ok, Ok, don’t get your transsexual panties in a bunch [p.s. what would those look like?] I’m not going to pass judgement on #caitlynjenner, BUT while you were judging those animals for how goofy they acted with those mirrors, did you stop to think about the last time you looked in the mirror?

I mean REALLY LOOKED.

Not just that pre-selfie-how-does-my-pouty-lip-face-look look in the mirror.

I mean a real, raw, unbridled look.

A look where your purpose is NOT to see how well Sephora* covered up the real you, but rather, a look where your purpose is to determine what you see.

Or, perhaps, what you don’t see.

This is not an easy task.

As you saw in the video, our over-arching mammalian instinct is to be afraid of what we see.

To hide.

To growl.

To ignore entirely.

Either because we don’t recognize the face staring back, or, worse, because we do.

This Therapeutic Thursday, do yourself a kindness. Do not shy away from your reflection.

Do not shy away from looking yourself in your own eyes and asking tough questions. Most importantly, don’t be afraid of the answers you give.

Stand proud.

And text out a selfie if you must.

After all, we evolved with these opposable thumbs for a reason, god-damn it.

Until next time, stay well,

Miss Fit

*sorry guys, that was a female-only reference… #caitlynjenner – let me know if I need to explain…

W.O.W. – THERAPEUTIC THURSDAY 04/09/15

“Therapeutic” – Gain insight into your Actions [sometimes called ‘behaviors’] and how they may be functioning as a direct result of Thoughts and Feelings

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Let’s do a quick little Self-Test. Answer honestly, no one can see your responses unless you choose to share.

In the last 30 days, have you:

  • Felt just chronically tired?
  • Felt bummed out?
  • Had little aches and pains every which where?
  • Had trouble falling asleep?

If you answered “No” to any of these, you are a big fat liar.

All of have had at least one day/night where at least one of the above was true.

What if I told you that without any medication – hell – without even looking at you I can tell  what is wrong AND how to fix it?

* PAUSE for gasps of disbelief *

I’ll give you a hint

picture c/o pregnancytips.org

You, dear Misfits, need to have an Orgasm.

Either at your hand, or the hand of someone else; you need to visit O town.

[sorry, Mom, that was probably awkward]

Let’s continue:

According to Jennifer Bass at the Kinsey Institute Kinsey Institute, reaching orgasm releases TONS of beneficial biochemicals [like Oxytocin and endorphins] that aid in reducing symptoms associated with Insomnia, Depression, Fatigue, Anxiety, and Pain.

The notion of pain relief has been extensively studied. And the verdict is in. Ladies…according to our fellow female Beverly Whipple, a famed Sexologist [yes that’s a real job, Guys] and professor emeritus at Rutgers, “when women masturbate to reach orgasm, the pain tolerance threshold and pain detection threshold increased by 74.6% and 106.7%, respectively”.

A little humor to kick off the good times…seven…seven…seven…

 

Have a Therapeutic Thursday,

Until next time,

Stay Well,

MissFit

 

picture c/o pregnancytips.org